Running the Race

I asked my friend Ohmie, the housing manager for my program, how he was doing. I love how he responded, "My friend, physically fit... mentally stable... emotionally perfect." I think Ohmie might be on to something.

I fell asleep at 8 Wednesday night. Not just because of Jet lag, but also because the work I am doing demands it, that is if I want to keep up with my friend Ohmie. When you go to sleep at 8 you naturally wake up at 4 am. Therefore, I laid in bed and waited for the sun to rise. That's when I got the crazy idea to go for a morning jog. I've always thought people that go running at 6 am are both admirable and totally stupid at the same time. But here I was, probably more stupid than admirable.

I made it to the end of the block and wanted to fall over and die, I was so tired. I'll blame it on the altitude. I stopped and acknowledged the fact that I was crazy, and reminded myself that everyone else is sleeping and I should be too. I considered walking back. However, I mustard up what I could and kept going. While I was running it dawned on me (haha get it?) that this was more than a 6 am jog, but a symbol of my entire journey. It was then that I really believe God revealed something very beautiful to me.

If you're following from home, I arrived a week ago and went straight to the Masaii village where we killed goats and slept under the stars. I had the excitement and energy to stay here forever. It was like how I imagine Forest Gump felt when he put on his shoes. Much like most of us feel in life when we first start out on a journey. Then you hit the 'crucial point', your adrenaline gives out and what you're really made of gets put to the test.

For me, the beginning of this week was the crucial point; physically, mentally, and emotionally. I can't blame that on the altitude:

Physically, my body hurt. If I had enough sunscreen then I probably didn't have enough bug spray and vis a versa. Not to mention I was paranoid of all the fun diseases that you're exposed to just from being here. I was going through Pepto Bismal as quickly as drinking water... you get the idea.

Mentally, I was starting to freak out at the thought of having 6 hours a day, alone, for a whole month. It's like the extroverts worse nightmare. That principle about inner peace was a lot easier to talk about then actually follow through on.

Emotionally, my heart hurt. If you've seen the pictures or read my post about 'a broken heart'... then you know I was far from emotionally perfect.

I wanted to quit, give up, throw in the towel. A month seemed like a very very long time. At one point I even toyed with the idea of at least checking to see how much a plane ticket home would cost. I was trying to create an option to quit. It was either that, or let go of yourself and ask God to carry you. If you're familiar with the footprints story, the part where there are two sets of footprints in the sand, until one of them disappears. Then God says, "I didn't leave you my son, that is where I picked you up and carried you"... yeah, that was me on Tuesday.

On my morning jog I chose to fight through the pain and keep going. Once I got passed that crucial point it became so much easier. The initial suffering produced an inexplicably uncanny perseverence. I finished the route I had planned, and I decided to do it again. It was even easier the second time. I think it's funny how God wired us to be capable of SO much when we team up with him, but only after we realize that we are not that great and can't possibly make it on our own. Then we just sit in his arms while he carries us to great distances. He puts those crucial points in our lives so that we stop, realize that we are broken, and lean on him to make our paths straight. And he will.

I'll be OK from here on out.

Of course this analogy doesn't come from me but from the bible. When I got home from my run I read this at breakfast, you've probably heard it before:

"Let us run with perseverence the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfector of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." - Hebrews 12:1-3

Chances are you are in a race right now, too. Maybe more than one. Maybe one too many. The scenery might not be the same as mine right now but I'm sure its incredibly challenging in its own way. I encourage you to think of those races and determine what point you are at in the race. Perhaps the only way to finish the race is to fix your eyes on things above. And if you're at that crucial point, remember that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope.

I now have a new definition for hope: Physically fit, mentally stable, and emotionally perfect. Thanks for that one Ohmie.

I wish you the best from Africa! As Mama tells me every morning before I leave, Be free but be SAFE!